I am fucking exhausted.

Courtesy of pretty much my only enjoyable night in forever. Or, at the very least, one of the very, very scarce times I've gone out recently. I actually had fun with people I didn't really know, but of course, they'll be graduating soon and won't be coming to school any more - I forgot to mention, the event was at school, and for the most part was pretty cool. Any and all bad performances were easily compensated by my ex-history teacher singing Rammstein. Anyway, the people I had fun with and who seemed to actually like me won't be at school any more and I'll probably never see them again. Woo.

Strange thing is, though, that I'm not supposed to be this exhausted. According to where I am with my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome therapy, I should be able to go out and be relatively okay, yet I only stayed out until 11:30 last night and still feel like a complete and utter trainwreck. This causes me to be negative, and negativity causes me to grow more tired, and as such I'm slowly spiraling back to the point where I started at. Fuuuuuck.

Furthermore, I've let myself down again because I promised myself I'd start writing some things I started a long time ago, and I got as far as finished one scene and now I'm just too exhausted. Oh, and I promised someone I'd draw out things for her but again, I've only done five so far and they're utterly crap.

Oh yeah, and school's finished in six weeks, including the two weeks off that started today!

I'm kind of in the same position as I was last year, if not worse, but it's okay now. Even if I drop a level, from VWO4 (which is what grade I'll be in if everything goes perfect) to HAVO4 (which I'll make full stop.) You see, HAVO4 has a few 'advantages', so to speak:

- Only 2 more years until graduation, rather than 3 (which is the case with VWO)
- No maths!
- I have some of the courses I want earlier than I would've in VWO.
- Easier = less stressful = better for my CFS, in case it's not over by the summer.

Of course, it won't look as good, so I'm going to try to pass my year properly, but it wouldn't be the end of the world. On the other hand, I'd be in a whole new class again and I'm not really feeling the whole idea of being a stranger to everyone again.


To summarize: I'm exhausted, I feel like shit, but things might work out.


/end lolteenager

Because I don't have the artistic talent to make my own, this CSS is by `ClaireJones.